 Outhouse Logic
This book establishes, with tongue in cheek and
all
available humor, that outhouses are actually superior
to indoor toilets. It develops this Outhouse Logic based
on childhood outhouse tipping experiences. Thence, it
develops major rules of life based on these experiences.
Rules that are then applied to the "conventional wisdom"
of modern American life and to public policy issues.
It uses this uncommon logic to contradict conventional
wisdom, to reinforce known solutions or to
develop unique new solutions for these issues.
The National Association of Outhouse Owners has
endorsed
this book as the "Best In Class".
The Biffy Tippers of America have placed this book
on their
list of "Best of The Best" new books in 2005.
Who said that we Americans don't
believe anything? On the contrary, we believe everything. Wives
Tales, Dads Tales, Kids Tales, Media Tales, hollywood (not capitalized
in the Biffy Tippers Dictionary) Tales, Pop Culture, Urban Legends
and Conspiracy Theories spoken over and over tend to take on
an aura of truth.
You've heard them: Indoor toilets are a boon to mankind! Adopt
a Highway is a good idea! Corporations are all rotten! There
is economy in scale! Bigger is better! Bigger schools make for
a better education! There may be problems in some schools but
my kids' school is very good! The highway department is just
looking out for our safety! It doesn't matter who gets elected,
all politicians are corrupt! I saw it on TV or in a movie so
it must be true! The government should fix that problem!
Drivel - that is a technical term for what you find in the outhouse
hole. Where are my facts to prove them outhouse drivel? Little
attempt will be made in this work to back assertions with facts
or figures - unless the writer finds it convenient to make some
up or has the facts available.
The newspapers and TV have set the norm for making assertions
without facts, with selective facts or half truths. In the media,
any kind of idiocy is proffered as the real thing and this writer
merely intends to follow in their footsteps. My idiocy is as
good as their idiocy - probably better. However, this writer
will attempt to mix a bit of logic into the idiocy.
Your problem will be to sort out the truth, much like viewing
and reading the modern mass media. You can go over those folk's
words with a divining rod and seldom find the truth. I will use
the same divine providence which they do - except - I've warned
you ahead of time.
Have a nice trip to the outhouse.
Contents: (Up
to Menu)
Tipping Outhouses - Lessons learned.
Watts Up - From toothbrushes
to guns.
Schools - Not bigger, scholarships.
Big is Good - Not even in
outhouses.
You Might Be a WOFATP.
Politicians, Lawyers, Government
-
& other bad boards on the outhouse floor.
Absolutely no one has been
able to spend enough time in the outhouse (where this book is
typically kept) to finish it. Therefore no reviews are available.
Biffy-Tippers Dictionary (Up to Menu)
Biffy-tipper - Any
person experienced at tipping outhouses.
National Association of Outhouse
Owners - An organization dedicated
to eliminating other organizations that have outlived their usefulness.
You need not currently own an outhouse to belong.
hollywood - Just
like in Webster's but not capitalized
Drivel - That
which is found in an outhouse hole.
Biffy Tippers of America - Another organization dedicated to eliminating
other organizations that have outlived their usefulness but it
is much more militant than the National Association of Outhouse
Owners.
WOFATP - Any
person who is herein defined to be a Waste Of Food And Toilet
Paper. Pronounce Wo-fa-tee-pee
Biffyless - A
particularly pathetic condition wherein a person, organization
or facility has no outhouse.
Feel-gooders - Those
who have wishes for policy.
IDOT - A
word, when associated with the Highway Department, is amazingly
close to Idiot.
One-worlders - Socialist
and other useful idiots as defined by Trotsky and Lenin.
Order
Form (Up to Menu)
Book can be ordered on line (Barnes and Noble,
Amazon, etc) for their price plus shipping and handling.
This book will be offered by EC3 Corp at $15 - autographed (adds
15 cents to the value but not the cost).
Send check to:
Frank Watts EC3 Corp
P O Box 205
Winter Park CO 80482
Send _____ copy(s) of Outhouse Logic @ $15.oo each (Includes
shipping and handling in the USA and Canada - list price $20.oo).
Ask for a volume discount. Sorry no credit cards. Pre-pay by
check - PO accepted for orders over $300.
Name ____________________________________
Phone No ________________________
email address _____________________________________
Snail Mail Address ______________________________________________________
City ____________________________ State ____ Zip ____________________
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